Meant to Be
by Rozzy0
Summary: James ponders his impending parenthood. Written for Sylvia as part of Gift-Giving Extravaganza 2013.


Hi all! This is the first of my 2013 gift fics. I'll be uploading two a month for the whole of this year (I hope!) and this first one is for Sylvia (glowing neon). I hope she enjoys it as well as all of you!

I still have some spots open, by the way, so head to my profile for the link to claim a free gift.

I used the prompts 'lavender soap' from Sylvia and 'chocolate frogs' from Amber in the Seven Fics Challenge.

Cover image by hubeRsen, used under Creative Commons license.

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**Meant to Be**

"Lily?"

He quietly opens the door to the bedroom and there she is, lying curled up on her side. She's fallen asleep with her hands on her belly, cradling its gentle curves. He stares in awe for a while.

It's been four months and he still can't believe it. _A baby._

They hadn't meant for this to happen quite so soon. They'd talked about it, of course, when they'd decided to get married, and they'd said all the sensible things like "uncertain times" and "better to wait". But on the inside they'd wondered other things—things like "why should we have to wait?" and "what if this war lasts forever?" and suddenly it had happened and it was too late to argue any more. Despite all their fears and uncertainties, it felt _right_ ... as though this baby was just meant to be.

_A baby._

He tiptoes closer, trying not to wake her. He's glad that she's sleeping; growing a person is tiring, she says, but she often spends her nights struggling to get comfortable and craving chocolate frogs. He looks at the hands on her belly and supposes she fell asleep feeling the baby move. "It's like a fairy fluttering," she'd said in one of her dreamy, hormone-induced phases, but no matter how long he spends with his hands on her, the movements are too small for anyone but her to feel.

It seems like a miracle, sometimes. How can there be a person growing in there? One day it wasn't there, and the next day it was—a bundle of dividing cells, Lily says. And some day, it will emerge. _He _will emerge. They don't actually know whether it's a boy or a girl, of course, but James just knows. Or maybe he just wishes?

Lily says that Muggles have a machine that can look inside a woman's belly, that can let you see the baby before it is born. James sometimes wonders if they can find a Muggle doctor who could do that for them, but Lily insists that she doesn't want to know. The midwitch can make sure that the baby is healthy, and that is all that matters.

He sits carefully on the edge of the bed, and she stirs, but doesn't wake. He tucks a strand of that vibrant hair behind her ear and leans down to press a kiss to the cheek he exposes. He can smell the fragrant soap she uses as he does so—lavender or something, fresh and alive. He lies down beside her, tucking his face next to her neck, and breathes in deeply.

Sometimes he wonders if it's selfish of them—selfish to bring a child into such an uncertain world, to be so excited while so much tragedy unfolds beyond their door. He knows, too, that they will not be useful to the Order when the baby comes. They'd almost been afraid to tell the others about it. What would Dumbledore say? What would the boys say? But in the end, James hadn't been able to hold the news in.

And of course, they needn't have worried. Dumbledore was all grace and congratulations, and insisted that they step back from the Order and concentrate on their family. James still gets antsy sometimes, especially when the boys come and tell him about their latest missions, but Lily reminds him that they are lucky to have survived up to now, and that their child needs him alive.

_Their _child. Because that's got to be the most amazing thing about it—this child will be the first thing that is _theirs_, and theirs alone. They have created it together: part her and part him.

It seems miraculous, and yet it happens every day. Not long after James and Lily told the Order, they found out that Frank and Alice were expecting a baby, too, as were Edgar Bones' brother and sister-in-law. The Weasleys were about to have their sixth, for crying out loud. But still, because it is _theirs_, it is the most miraculous of all.

The boys seem to think so, too. Peter reacted predictably when they told him, going into paroxysms of delight and practically falling off his chair. Remus hadn't stopped smiling for hours. Sirius had been silent for a good ten minutes, as though in shock, and then he'd silently knelt in front of Lily and said solemnly to her abdomen: "I will always be there for you."

James places a hand on top of hers where it cradles her belly. Her eyes open slowly and James draws her close, his arm sliding up to rest in the newly-formed crevice between her belly and her breasts.

"What are you thinking about?" she whispers.

"How amazing this is," he replies. "How amazing _you _are." As he sits up on his elbow, she tilts her head around as though she can read his mind, and he can taste chocolate on her breath as he kisses her. Even though he can't wait to meet their baby, this moment, this snapshot of beautiful anticipation, is so perfect that just for a second, he wishes it could last forever.


End file.
